Ok, so let's back this up

How did I get here to start with?! I have several recurring themes running through my brain these days and I can't exactly pinpoint where it all started. I have to give a shout out to my good friends Amy, Emily and Angela without whom this blog might not exist or at least not in it's current form.

Things have been tough for the last few years. There's a lot to it, but let's say I've had more than a few moments of despair. Around this same time I started to feel the tickle in my soul that told me that someone was trying to get my attention. I went back and forth between feeling like maybe I should give it some more thought to feeling guilty that my motives were somewhat selfish in seeking peace through a relationship with God to feeling like it was just a crutch because I was feeling helpless. Meanwhile, it seemed that everywhere I turned I was being encouraged either outright or through seeing the grace that the relationship with God brings, to revisit where I stood with Him.

There's an old joke that goes something like this:

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me."

So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me."

So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me."

So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter.....

I started to think those people and things were my boats and my helicopter. Ok, Angie you were probably more like an armored tank but I needed it.

In thinking about the theme of reconciliation recently I have to consider my own reconciliation with God. I wonder how or why he would put up with me. I suppose it's the same when someone who has committed murder or otherwise rejected him. I have to ask myself, if my own child committed such a crime or wronged me would I still love him or her and welcome them back into my arms? Absolutely. I would expect that they might suffer their own hardships and punishments at the hands of others, but I would still love them and find joy in them and rejoice at their homecoming each and every time. Would my heart be more full when one child embraced me than another? No.

It seems I've heard this somewhere before....

Weekend Pieces

How can you get so little done and be so exhausted?! I have done a little crafting, a little reading, a little cleaning but not a LOT of anything.

It seems like I've been reading so much bad news lately. I'm really counting my blessings some days. Strangely enough I've been reading a lot about brokenness through my Starting Point, through the Baggage Series at church and just through random reading. It's so true that clinging to past hurts and failures drags us down and keeps us from greatness. God chooses simple people like Abraham to do great things. If we let the stumbles and roadblocks along the way trip us up, we might not achieve our purpose. There is nothing without a purpose. We may not even see the fruits of our purpose in our lifetime, but can only trust that they are great.

I keep coming back to one of the few old hymns that really makes me stop and put my heart in a more Godly place and that's It is Well With My Soul.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul

In reading a little of the history of this hymn I found out it was written by a gentleman by the name of Horatio Spafford who endured multiple tragedies in his life, most notably the tragic drowning death of his 4 daughters. He penned this hymn on the boat journey to meet up with his wife who was spared and wrote it as the boat passed closely over the spot where his daughters perished. Unbelievably his wife said she was reminded most of the words of her friend: "It's easy to be grateful and good when you have so much, but take care that you are not a fair-weather friend to God."

I've been so blessed not to have suffered like these people have suffered yet they have maintained their faith and servitude to God. I can only hope that I could rise to such a test with a fraction of the same fortitude. Have I? Will I?

I've been chewing on some ideas about reconciliation but they aren't really that clear yet. I'll save those for later.

Spock

No, no the good doctor of all things child rearing. The Vulcan. After much llife drama this week, I became the proud owner of the Spock glass from BK Cafe and things started to look up a bit. I have to admit I'm pretty geeked out about the new Star Trek movie. We'll hopefully be seeing this in the next few weeks and I can't wait! Should I have posted a nerd alert first?

Then again who could really argue with logic like this:

Kirk: Well, there it is - war. We didn't want it, but we've got it.

Spock: It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.

and this gem:

After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.

Gene Roddenberry RIP. Your legend lives on.

When it rains it pours

I guess that's a silly expression really. What the heck does that even mean?

Rain takes on so many different forms from a misty, hazy sprinkling to a thunderous flooding downpour. I guess in the same way life's rain shapes us differently by sometimes being a gentle tickle to living in the middle of a hurricane. Hopefully it's nothing an umbrella and some happy thoughts can't chase away.

Reconciliation

rec⋅on⋅cile 

 /ˈrɛkənˌsaɪl/ Pronunciation [rek-uhn-sahyl] verb, -ciled, -cil⋅ing.
–verb (used with object)
1. to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired: He was reconciled to his fate.
2. to win over to friendliness; cause to become amicable: to reconcile hostile persons.
3. to compose or settle (a quarrel, dispute, etc.).
4. to bring into agreement or harmony; make compatible or consistent: to reconcile differing statements; to reconcile accounts.
5.to reconsecrate (a desecrated church, cemetery, etc.).
6.to restore (an excommunicate or penitent) to communion in a church.

So, one of my assignments this week is to attempt a reconciliation. This would appear easier than it seems. For starters, there are few people I would consider myself in any way estranged from. Secondly, this is a tough week to feel like reconciling things with the people I probably need to reconcile most with.

As always, I'm puzzled as to where to start. Some things just become a part of the fabric of who we are and and should I start to pull at threads will I unravel?

Birthdays

Excited in a small way thanks to some new craft goodies that came in for some new ideas for my Etsy shop. I'll post pics once I get the new things done. I'm always so excited with new materials. On to more important happenings:


So today is the birthday of the Queen Bee of the kid army in our house. She's 18! It's so unbelievable that you spend so much time thinking and planning what those 18 years are going to be like and what you are going to do. Life has a funny way of playing with all of those plans and keeping you thinking on your feet.

I remember being scared to death thinking there was NO way they were going to let me be 100% responsible for making sure she makes it through ok. I'm happy to report she made it here mostly intact but for a few self imposed holes, questionable hair cuts and flirtations with the arts.

Happy Birthday Kiddo!

I'm trying to think back to my favorite birthday gift ever. Hm..there were some albums I'm probably pretty embarassed about at this point {Bay City Rollers anyone?

wow, there's a set of faces only a mother could love!}

a tape recorder and later a boom box. Not surprising that my most memorable gifts all involved music. I would have made a heck of a rock star. I figure I just needed a prescription drug habit and a little luck right?! Unfortunately, I fear I have become The Man. {{sigh}}

in the words of the great Dewey Finn: Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man. He's everywhere. In the White House... down the hall... Ms. Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!

hm, maybe it's good that I gave up on that inspirational speaking thing too.

About choices

Still trying to get over Strep. For some reason over the past few years I've become a veritable breeding ground for strep. Ugh! I got some sweet gifts for mother's day from the kids and stopped after church to treat myself and Gabby to lunch at BK. Guess what?! They have Star Trek glasses. Lunch was lousy and they only have one ebola seat, I mean public high chair, so Gabby had to sit on my lap and needless to say it was mercifully quick. But hey, I am now the proud owner of both the Kirk and Uhurra glasses. They are gen-you-wine cheap glass not plastic too! woo hoo!

So last night in between fighting the dark forces of strep and handling my piranha of a toddler, I got my work done for Starting Point this morning and managed to get through telling my "story" today without losing it too much. We later discussed brokenness and it was, as always, quite a riveting discussion. The time really does seem to fly in there.

The question was raised as to why God placed the Tree of Knowledge in the Garden of Eden if he did not want man to partake of it. One of our members pointed out that love is a choice. Interesting. When we love anybody or anything we are choosing to love them. Would you really want to be "loved" by someone who had no choice in the matter? Isn't that just mere obedience?

I guess this really describes so much of what is going on in the world. For some of us the choices seem so easy and natural that they don't seem like choices. Do we even realize that we are choosing to love that fragile baby we hold in our arms for the first time? Most of us felt a rush of love somewhere in those first few moments, days or weeks when we've met our children. Is that the moment we've made our choice? Some people would credit the hormone surge most new moms have with these intense emotions. Maybe so. Is it possible that God's hand is in that surge making our choice so easy? It's only when we start controlling things after that, that things become so complicated. Also, it's unfortunate that not everyone makes what seems like the easy choice. Then again what's so easy about sleepless nights, constant worry about the status of our children's health and happiness?

Anyway, we also quickly revisited the image of the X-structure at the center of the whirlpool galaxy as taken by the Hubble telescope as shown above. If you are interested in any of the background of this, check out this video by Louie Giglio where he talks about how he feels about it: here. Hard not to see the Hand of God in that. I mean, it's no Star Trek glass, but it sure is something to ponder.....